This is what I am confused about in the Debarge story, because there pain did not have to be if they had the protection they deserve as children. I am the annoying type that reads into everything like:
Why are they looking at me like that? Why did they do that? Why did they say that? and the How, What, Where, When and Why?
Here is what I am confused:
1) El Debarge mentioned he WAS walking around in a drug daze in Downtown LA on the making of second chance VIDEO, Didnt anyone recognize him on the STREET when he was getting high? If they did, why didnt someone try to help him?
2) On the show UNSUNG, when the mother said she was a young bride and didnt know how to be a housewife ( I give her that) understandable. She said that she left several times with her kids and had to come back several times because no one wanted to be bothered with all those children ( okay I give a bone on that one) But then Bunny said that her uncles came in a bust her fathers ass and that was the only way she felt free ( understandable).... The question I want to ask is:
Why didnt the uncles help her and take them in? Why it took them so long to kick the daddys ass?
Why didnt MOTOWN try to suggest or try to help the Debarges to get treatment?
HOW COME no one recognized JAMES DEBARGE on the street and try to help him either? You mean to tell me, that no one recognized James or El on the street? And again a repreat Question: Why didnt someone try to help them or at least report it that they seen the debarges on the street and they need medical attention. I dont know how it is in California, but in New York if we seen the Debarges on the street, everyone would know and chances are someone would have reached out.
People in New York City love the Debarges from the 80's. All our house parties had the Debarge touch in the speakers. Everywhere you turn there was someone playing a Debarge song either at a prom, Sweet 16 and etc. TIME WILL REVEAL, I LIKE IT, A DREAM, STAY WITH ME, ALL THIS LOVE, WHATS YOUR NAME AND ETC( WHICH NOTORIOUS B.I.G AND TOTAL SAMPLED STAY WITH ME) AND SO MANY OTHERS FROM NEW YORK. JAY Z, 50 CENT. FAT JOE WOULD HAVE HELPED THEM.
I THINK THE ONLY WAY THE DEBARGES CAN MOVE ON WITH LIFE IS IF THERE MOTHER RECOGNIZES THAT SHE WAS A MEDIUM LEVEL PROBLEM IN THERE LIFE.
AND PARTIALLY THE REASON WHY THEY ALL TURNED OUT IN TURNING TO DRUGS AS AN ESCAPE. BY SAYING THE DEVIL WAS THE CAUSE IS SO TRUE BECAUSE THE FATHER WAS THE MONSTER.
MY FATHER USED TO VERBALLY ABUSE ME TO THE POINT IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO FINISH COLLEGE. HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS SO STUPID AND I WASNT WORTH ANYTHING. MY MOTHER SAT THERE AND ALLOWED MY DAD TO SAY HORRIBLE THINGS TO ME EVERYDAY SINCE I WAS VERY LITTLE UNTIL MY STEP BROTHER MOVED IN THE HOUSE WHEN I WAS 14 AND MY BROTHER PAUL SHOWED ME THAT I WAS THE SMARTEST ONE IN THE FAMILY. AND ONE DAY I ROSE AND CURSED THE SHIT OUT OF MY FATHER AND FROM THEN ON HE CALM DOWN. I STILL DID ODD JOBS AND REFUSED TO GO TO COLLEGE UNTIL I WAS OLDER. THE POINT OF THE STORY IS THERE ARE SPOUSES AFRAID TO STEP UP AND RAISE CAIN TO PROTECT THERE CHILDREN. MY SITUATION WAS NO WHERE NEAR WHAT THE DEBARGES HAD TO GO THROUGH.
BUT ONE THING I WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY IF I WAS THEM. I WOULD PUNISH THE SHIT OUT OF THAT OLD MAN. HE WOULD HAVE NEVER GOT AWAY WITH IT. AS I GOT OLDER I STARTED CALLING MY FATHER NAMES TO PUNISH HIM, I STILL DO IT UNTIL THIS DAY. WHEN MY DAY SEES ME HE WALKS AWAY BECAUSE HE IS AFRAID OF WHAT I MIGHT SAY TO HIS OLD ASS.
WHEN THEY GOT OLDER THEY SHOULD HAVE TORTURED HIM, CURSED HIM, KICKED HIS ASS AND ALL THAT. LET HIM GET A TASTE OF HOW HE MADE THEM FEEL. I WOULDNT HAVE GONE INTO DRUGS, I WOULD HAVE TORTURED HIS ASS MENTALLY AND CRUSH HIM EMOTIONALLY... THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY DRUG.
I DAMN SURE LET MY MOTHER KNOW THAT WHAT SHE DID AND SHE TOOK THE BLAME AND APOLOGIZED TO ME AND THAT WAS WHAT MADE ME HEAL.
IF DEBARGES MOTHER ACKNOWLEDGES SHE WAS PARTIALLY TO BLAME WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE BEAUTIFUL INSECURE CHILDREN, I THINK THAT THEY WOULD STOP DOING DRUGS AND GET BACK INTO MUSIC FULL TIME. ALL THEY NEED IS FOR HER TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AT LEAST SOME OF IT.
I DONT CARE IF IT WAS RACISM BACK IN THE DAY, I DONT GIVE A DAMN. SHE HAD 12 SIBLINGS... YOU MEAN TO TELL ME NOT ONE OF THEM WOULD HELP HER? NOT ONE? SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THAT.
I hope JAMES gets out and finish his destiny which is Music..
Claudia Reid
creid3@aol.com
Twitter: @ClaudiaReidTalk